Epic Misunderstandings
by Faerax
Summary: Things are not always what they seem.


Title: Epic Misunderstanding

Disclaimer: Haven and it's inhabitants do not belong to me, they belong to Syfy and Stephan King.

Summary: Things are not always what they seem. Written for neoxphile because well, we had an epic misunderstanding the other day (in October 2011) and she got the worst of it. I am very, very, very sorry my friend.

Cape Rouge had all of her running lights on and it gave a kind of quiet festive atmosphere to the otherwise still summer night. Audrey had come to the ship to inquire if Duke would help her with catching some grifters that had been drifting up an down the eastern seaboard. All he would have to do was host a poker night or too, something she doubted he would mind. She boarded the old ship and walked quietly across the decking until she reached the door to the lower deck, which contained Duke's galley and stateroom.

As her feet padded down the stairs, she heard some unusual conversation coming from the state room.

"Nathan, please!" Duke sounded fairly desperate.

There was some rustling, and the sound of cloth being shifted. "Duke, will you calm down already? I need to get the cream first."

"I don't want it, just do it already! I'm dying here! Besides, that stuff never helps anyway."

"No. It'll hurt you, you idiot."

"I don't care."

"Fine. Have it your way."

"Thank you I will. Now what are you doing?"

"Putting on protection. God only knows where you've been and what other things you've picked up."

"Nathan, why does it always have to be about your needs. I'm going crazy here. Will you just hurry it up?"

Audrey heard Nathan sigh. "There. I'm done. Anyone ever tell you that you whine. A lot."

"Yes. You have. Now will you please come help me out here?"

"Yes, Duke."

"Lower, lower. Yes. Right there. No, harder. Harder!"

"If I do it any harder It'll leave a mark, and it'll hurt. Might even bleed."

"Harder."

"Ok. Remember you asked for it."

"Ouch! Not that hard!"

There was a low groan of satisfaction as Nathan did something that obviously pleased Duke. She heard Nathan's throaty chuckle in response. Audrey could feel the heat in her cheeks as she quickly turned around and fled up the stairs.

Certain things were so clear to her now. The two men's on again, off again friendship. Why Nathan seemed to love to hate Duke, and yet the minute Duke got into severe trouble, Nathan was there to fish him out. There was an undeniable bond between the two men, and she had frequently noted how strong their feelings went for each other, though usually they are at each other's throats. However it seemed more a relationship based on needling each other than anything else. Maybe that song was right, she though, semi-hysterically. Maybe hate _is_ just love disappointed. She would have giggled if she hadn't thought she'd be caught by the two men below decks. It sure didn't sound like either of them were disappointed when she booked it out of the state room.

She was sitting in her car, still coming to grips with the change in her perception of the men's relationship when Nathan emerged from the galley. He noticed her car on the dock and walked over to it, jingling Duke's keys in his hand. She cursed the boat's running lights, which so short a time before she had found attractive. She couldn't even look at her partner without blushing. The blonde detective was somewhat surprised to note exactly how much time she'd spent in her car, noticing the clock as she glanced down.

"Audrey, I'm glad you're here. Can you help me? Duke ran into some trouble and I had to get him. My truck's back there." Nathan was stone faced, but there was an unexpected glint of mischief and good humor in his eyes.

"Uh, sure. No problem." Audrey tried to think of anything and everything other than what she had heard. Of course, that just meant she couldn't drive the images that came with the soundtrack out of her head.

Nathan dropped into the sedan and began to give Audrey directions about where to go to get his missing truck. As their course drew him by Over the Way, he asked if he could stop in for a moment. Audrey pulled in and drew the car into it's normal parking spot. "I'll just be a minute." Nathan ducked out, and walked up to Julia's apartment. They had a brief conversation and then Julia disappeared for about a minute, and returned, handing Nathan a small tube of something. He quickly pocketed it and returned to the car.

Audrey really, really hoped Nathan didn't see her blush, at the transaction. She had no such luck. Nathan was eying her speculatively as he continued to give her directions in his normal, monosyllabic way. She concentrated on the road ahead, finding the center line the most interesting thing in the entire town of Haven. Nathan took out the small tube of whatever Julia had given him and began to roll it between his hands. He was laughing quietly and Audrey tried even harder not to notice that.

They found Nathan's pickup parked at the entrance to the local conservation land. As he got into his truck, Nathan turned to Audrey. "I think you really ought to follow me back to Cape Rouge."

"Ah, no, it's late and It's been a long day..." She began.

"Trust me, you'll like this." Nathan slammed the blue truck's door and began to head south, back towards town.

Audrey groaned. Still, if they wanted to come out to her tonight, she supposed she should be supportive. They were her best friends in the town. She followed Nathan all the way back through town and onto Cape Rouge's dock.

Both of them boarded the old ship. Nathan was actually whistling when he descended the stair case in front of Audrey. Duke came out of the state room looking particularly disheveled with sweat pants on and only a tee-shirt rather than his customary layers. "Ah, no. Nathan, no. I don't want ..."

Nathan gave Duke a particularly evil grin. "I don't care. Now take your shirt off and show her."

"Or what?" Duke challenged petulantly.

"Or else I won't give you what Julia assured me would help you out." Nathan took the tube out of his pocket and continued rolling it between his hands.

Audrey quietly freaked out. This was getting too weird. "Really, Nathan, he doesn't need to... I'll just be going now."

Nathan lifted a sardonic eyebrow. He walked over to Duke and before either Duke or Audrey could respond, he grabbed Duke's shirt and ripped it over the taller man's head.

All along the tall man's back were seething patches of red rash. Duke growled and shoved past Nathan. "You made it itch again, you bastard!" He began to rub his back against the rope wrapped post that held his counter down, like a bear scratching his back against a tree.

"This idiot decided it was too hot today and took off his shirt in the woods. He fell into a patch of poison ivy and got it all over him. Almost crashed his truck trying to scratch and drive." Nathan's smirk clearly broadcast his amusement with Duke and the situation.

Duke just glared at his friend and continued to moan when he successfully de-itched a rash. Nathan entered the bedroom and came back out wearing gloves. He dumped white lotion on his hand and grabbed Duke's shoulder to spin him around. "Julia says this stuff is better than what you have."

Whatever the other woman had pulled out, seemed to work, as Duke stopped his frantic twitching when Nathan started to spread it on his back. He assumed a blissful expression and actually sagged back toward Nathan. The detective finished spreading out the ointment and shoved Duke toward his bedroom. Duke flopped on the bed, and Nathan put the ointment on the stand beside it.

Together Nathan and Audrey disembarked from the Cape Rouge, leaving Duke to his itch-less bliss. Nathan was laughing as he got to his Bronco. "The look on your face, Parker. It was priceless." His eyes reflected unexpected mirth so rarely seen in the quiet detective.

Audrey snorted out a laugh. "You really don't want to know what I thought was going on."

"I had a pretty good idea. I saw you go up the stairs. And I saw the panicked expression on your face when you saw me coming. It was too good to resist." He climbed up into the cab.

Audrey shook her head. Her boys' were incorrigible.

Author's Note:

This story was originally written given to neoxphile as a "I'm Sorry" gift after we agreed we would meet and go together somewhere. She was where she told me she would be and was wondering why I wasn't there. The answer was because I was 20 miles away, waiting for her, having been told the location changed. Talk about an epic misunderstanding. This is proof that neoxphile is a wonderful friend because neo didn't kill me on sight the next time I was seen. Posted with neoxphile's permission (because even though I wrote it and Syfy and Stephen King own the characters and the show) the story is still belongs to neoxphile in spirit.


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